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What a lovely day

It is a sunny day today, with music from streets and songs from birds.  But what I say at the very time? It is just a lie! Don’t believe it! It is a lie! Oh, God! Whom I shall trust if I cannot trust myself? Oh, God! Please give me a new life! Let me live, to do something useful to my people, who are your people!  Is it the end for me? Oh, God! I cannot think about of it! Is this way for me to go? If not, where is my way? Tell me, please! Sometimes I think it frightening to die with two hands empty. Yes, it is! It is just as if I cannot fly any more!  Could I fly before? Who knows? It is a fact that I feel terrible and scared.  Who shall save me? God, magic power, something I cannot image, or myself? I don’t know although I am eager to know? Oh, God! What shall I do and what can I do?  Oh, God! Please direct me and show what I will go.  Oh, God! Only you know what I think and how I feel like if I say what a lovely day!  But except for saying “what a lovely day”, what else can I say? Only God knows. Poor Edward! So poor!

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